Not Everyone Will Like Your Stuff… And It’s Important That You Get OK With That!

I recently did a Do You Know if You Suck post about how we, as humans, have gotten into a habit of downgrading our talents, skills and natural abilities. Or worse. We know what we’re good at, but only until someone suggests that we’re not. Then suddenly all bets are off and we forget that just because one person says it, doesn’t make it true.

Well, I joined a blogging & list building challenge for the next several weeks that’s already started increasing the number of followers I have. And there’s a lot of new people I’m getting to know thru that challenge who are also building their lists.

And that got me thinking…

As we build our lists and continue adding posts to our blogs, we’re gonna run up against people who don’t like what we have to say. You may have people sign up to your blog who initially like your posts. But as you learn and grow and figure out your branding and the direction you want to go, some of those people may decide they don’t want to go that direction with you.

Or you may even have people who AREN’T on your list but they feel the need to send you an email to let you know why they don’t like your information (or your picture or whatever)… these are called trolls and they’re not nice people so if you’re building a list, then it’s time to start working on thickening up your skin a bit (or a lot for some of you).

Personally, I’ve never been concerned about whether people like me or not (with the exception of a few of those boy crushes I had way back when), because I find that they either do or they don’t. And I’m ok with that because it dawned on me along the way that I don’t connect with or like every person *I* meet either so why in the world should I expect others to?!

And as a parent, my son started screaming “I hate you” about the same age he learned to talk. To me, that just let me know that I was doing my job as a parent right. But I had a friend who would take it so personally if her kids even got mad at her, that she just wouldn’t discipline at all (even though by that time my son was 15 and she could see that he and I were best of friends, in spite of his “I hate you” moments).

The thing is, I know that I’m not typical and that there are more people closer to her end of the spectrum (although thankfully not quite that far), than at my end. Most people aren’t as quick to let that stuff go. It actually hurts their feelings to think that someone doesn’t like them.

Although I’ve gotta ask. For those of you who are ok with your kids not liking you on occasion, why do you care so much about what a stranger might think?

What Will You Do?

Let’s just say that you have people who like you (people on your list), who suddenly don’t (they unsubscribe). And let’s say that they also leave you a note that says they’re leaving because they didn’t like what you said about something or they don’t like the direction you’re going. Or maybe they just don’t like that you put colored your hair purple today!

How is that going to make you feel? Is it going to make you feel bad? Are you gonna spend a lot of time questioning if they may be right?

Well if you’re one of those people, or you know people on your list who are, then listen up…

Not everyone’s going to like what you have to say!

That’s right. You’re going to have people who find your blog, read your posts, see your picture… and not like something! You’re too abrasive or too wimpy. You talk too slow or too fast in your video. You have too many typos in a blog post. Your hair is too blonde or too red. Your nose is too big or too small.

Who cares!?

It’s not a reflection of you. The majority of people, unless they’ve been following you for a year or so, don’t even KNOW you! They may see a business side of you. They might know about a few outside interests you have. They may know you have kids. Hell, depending on what you’re blog topic is, they may even know about your personal health history!

But that’s only a PART of you!

Even if they point to something you specifically said in your post that offended them, unless you singled someone out specifically by name and started telling them all the things you don’t like about them or insulting them, it’s still not you!

It may be something that hit a nerve for them that day. Or they may have things going on in their OWN lives that YOU don’t know about that is moving THEM in a new direction and your blog just doesn’t serve their purpose any more. They’re people, and they have to make decisions on which direction to go just like the rest of us do.

So get OK with the fact that people may leave your blog. You may people who comment and converse with you on your site regularly who suddenly disappear without notice because they have things come up for them in their own lives. You may have people on your list who are building a business who suddenly get told by their spouse that they need to spend less time online. You may have trolls find your website that just want to see if they can hit a nerve or cause issues because their lives are so pathetic that it’s fun for them to see if they can bully others and get a reaction.

If you’re blogging as a part of your business and you’re building a list, you have a HUGE reason for you to get clear about who you are, BEFORE someone unsubscribes or emails you a comment that may strike a nerve. If you’re not prepared for things like that to happen, then you risk putting yourself in a place where outside forces and strangers have the ability to make or break your day or even longer.

And that’s just NOT cool!!

So let me start your list of “I kick butt and will have lots of followers because…” with these:

• I’m creating a blog using time that I could be using to relaxing, sleep, go to a party or any number of other things because I have goals!
• I’m providing information to people that they might not find anywhere else that could change their lives, even though I may never know how!
• I’m willing to put myself “out there” to help people while the majority of people would never even consider it.
• I’m building a business that I enjoy and that will support my family for generations to come
• I creating a lifestyle that will allow me to spend my time with my family when *I* choose, not when someone else decides.

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