Do You Settle or Keep Moving? – Vlog Challenge Day 4 – Debi J's Blog
Description: Blog post at Debi J's Blog : In today's video, I talk about the fact that people naturally gravitate towards other people who are going through the same types of issues [..]

# Do You Settle or Keep Moving? – Vlog Challenge Day 4

December 5, 2012
Posted by debij

In today’s video, I talk about the fact that people naturally gravitate towards other people who are going through the same types of issues and why that’s not necessarily a good thing. You can check out the video (new computer so no shaking) 🙂 and I’ll remember to add the text below for those of you who prefer to read (or like me, have a tough time watching videos because of your connection speeds!) LOL

I managed to mute out a small piece in the beginning because I was checking to make sure my headset was OFF mute while I was talking and managed to mute it by accident. 🙂

I’ve got a health issue that came up during the past two weeks and it finally got to the point where I had to search out an answer. It’s something I’ve never experienced and it was frustrating the heck out of me.

So as usual, I headed to Google to check out some of my favorite medical sites to see if I could find an answer. I found an article on one of the sites that also had a ton of comments… Lots of females who had experienced (or were still experiencing) the same symptoms. But as I kept reading in search of a “Hey I found out the problem!” type of comment I started realizing that it wasn’t there. What I DID find is something that I’ve noticed in business for a long time too…

A lot of people, once they find others experiencing the same types of issues they’ve been facing (even if it’s crappy), suddenly feel like they’ve found a home of sorts and they stop looking for answers. They move in with their new found friends and start sharing war stories. The problem is when they stay there and forget what they were looking to accomplish to begin with.

If you want something in your life or business to change, improve, and grow… or if you’ve run up against something new that you don’t understand or something’s not working the way you expected and you start looking for a solution, you MUST keep in mind that as you run across others having the same problems you’ve also gotta keep your focus on finding the solution!

So while I know what the answer is from many of Tiffany’s followers will be, I’m still curious to know what you do in these situations. Have you occasionally found yourself staying too long at the “pity party”? Have you found yourself getting comfortable with NOT moving forward or fixing something because you had found a person or group who was really great at helping you justify your excuses as to why it wasn’t working right for you?

I know I’ve done both, which is exactly why it was so easy to recognize the symptoms when I was looking for an answer!

Thankfully, even with the occasional settling I’ve done, I’m more often than not the one who moves away from these types of people quickly. Even in my job as a trucker, my boyfriend and I stay away from the truck stops as much as possible. We figured out years ago that while the story may talk about a different highway, a different DOT officer, or a different shipper or receiver, the story is always the same. It’s the same whining… just on a different day and it drives me nuts!

So this was just a reminder for you, and for myself, that in order to reach your goals you’ve gotta stop settling and keep moving yourself forward… no matter how comfortable it might be when you find a group of people who are going thru what you are.

I’d love to hear if you’ve ever experienced this and what happened to make you realize that it was time to move on and get yourself back on track.

Until then….

Updated: December 5, 2012 at

### Comments

1. I do both as well yet I’m more likely to move on because I like solving stuff. But if I’m stuck in fear and also stuck in that problem, ugh!

   It’s so funny, I know my mindset has changes because while you were talking I was thinking …

   Cool Debi knows where a group of people hang out with a problem that no one seems to be offering a solution to. You can be the one to go back with an affiliate link of course and give them the solution. 🙂
   Minna Bryant recently posted..Building A Foundation Vlog Challenge Day 28

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   1. Good idea…but did I mention it was one of those female things? 🙂 I keep wondering how much info is TMI… for others, not me. I’ve always been open about stuff and while my son’s grown up that way and used to hearing about things most boys would NEVER discuss with their mom, I do realize that he’s more the exception than the rule.
      debij recently posted..Tiffany Dow’s Vlog Challenge – Day 3

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2. That’s exactly why you’d want to do it. The place you found is proof that they WANT to know others know the “nitty gritty” about the issues they are suffering.

   There is usually no TMI for someone suffering, if it means a solution.
   Minna Bryant recently posted..Hello, Goodbye & Hello Again Vlog Challenge Day 30

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   1. Thinking over some of the topics I’ve run across in searching thru medical stuff in the past, you’re right!
      debij recently posted..Outsourcing, Squid Pro Quo and SquidCrafter (a New Squidoo PlugIn)… I’m SO Excited!

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3. Guilty as charged. This was me when I was going through all of that health stuff. But it happens in business, too. You’re right. I like to learn from a wide variety of people –

   Those where I am.
   Those still not yet where I am.
   Those way above me.

   Hang in there and hope everything turns out okay Debi!
   Tiffany recently posted..Blogging With John Chow Review Part 9: Analytics on Your Blog

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   1. I think most of us do it at one point or another… sucks being human sometimes! 🙂

      Still working on the answer but things are calmer for the moment. 😉
      debij recently posted..Outsourcing, Squid Pro Quo and SquidCrafter (a New Squidoo PlugIn)… I’m SO Excited!

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4. Oh yeah I know what you’re talking about! I am definitely guilty of this sometimes too. At least we are aware of it, though, I honestly think that does help because you can pull yourself out of it and go find somewhere else to hang out that will push you to do something different instead.
   Ruth P recently posted..I&#8217;m Back And I&#8217;m Not With It&#8230; – Vlog Day 16

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   1. Awareness… always the first step in overcoming most if not all of our bad habits! 🙂
      debij recently posted..Outsourcing, Squid Pro Quo and SquidCrafter (a New Squidoo PlugIn)… I’m SO Excited!

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5. I was wondering if you ever considered changing the layout of your website?
   Its very well written; I love what youve got to say.

   But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it
   better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having one or 2 images.
   Maybe you could space it out better?
   adelaide weather recently posted..adelaide weather

   Reply

   1. It’s definitely always a work in progress and I continue to learn as I go! Thanks so much for the feedback. And you’re right, it definitely needs more images and better spacing!!
      debij recently posted..Please Join Me Over at My New Place – GenXBrat.com

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