Do You Know If You Suck?

If you don’t know who you are and what your strengths are, then you’re leaving yourself open to feeling bad and beating yourself up over a stranger telling you that you suck! Think I’m wrong? Check this out….

My boyfriend is looking for a job. He’s been turning in applications and interviewing for the past month or so. It’s not that he can’t find a job… we drive big rigs… companies are always looking for drivers. Let me rephrase… companies are always looking for GOOD drivers. Finding someone with a CDL is easy. Finding someone with a clean record is a whole other ball game.

Without going into a full-on education about the world of truck driving which trust me, is a world of its own, I’ll keep this as short and sweet as possible.

Best in Your Field

I got my CDL back in 2007. He got his in 2006. In trucker world, the primary application questions that recruiters look at before they’ll sit down and talk with you are:

• Any tickets or accidents in the past 3-5 years?
• Any accidents in the past 3-5 years?
• Ever had a DUI/DWI?
• Ever had your license suspended?
• Ever been convicted of a felony?

The answers to those questions keep a LOT of people from ever getting their foot in the door for an interview, depending on what the company hauls (4 of the 6 students in my CDL class were convicted felons… and still friends just in case you’re now worried about stopping at a truck stop during your travels). 🙂

But for two of us, the answer to all of those questions is… “No”. Even though he’s been driving full time for 7 years and I’ve been at it for 6, the answer is still no. And while that may not seem such a big deal to people who drive to and from work and such… but we drive between 500 and 700 miles each and every day.

The next question is about endorsements on your license. Can we drive trucks with air brakes and what kind of loads can we haul… Refrigerated? Dry? Singles? Doubles? Tankers? Hazmat? Containers?  And again, the answer to those questions are all “Yes, we can”.

After that, it’s how many jobs have you had in the past 5-7 years? They don’t like it when drivers keep jumping from company to company because of training costs and sign-on bonuses. Ideally, you’ll have been at one company for 2-3 years at a time minimum.

Well, he’s been with 6 companies in 7 years. I’ve been with 8 companies in 6 years. On paper, that looks really bad, so when companies see that, it’s a red flag for them, so they ask us about it.

Once we explain that we’ve worked for companies that have gone out of business or run out of work, it makes sense. It’s not that we WANTED to bounce around… we just haven’t been given a choice at many of them.

Bottom line? We’re the best they can find when it comes to truck drivers. Add to it the fact that neither of us smoke so we’re not smelling up their trucks… companies want to hire us on the spot. In fact, he’s had every company he’s contacted ask him how soon he can start.

Until today… which brought me to this post.

What Changed?

He came home and told me that this one recruiter looked at the number of jobs he’s had, and immediately told him that he’s probably not the type of driver they’re looking for because he stays at most companies for about a year and then leaves. He’s smart enough to realize that if they’re jumping to assumptions without asking him why, they’ll also do the same thing if he’s employed with them and that’s NEVER a good thing at ANY kind of company. So he told her she’s probably right, and that he appreciated her having let him know what type of company they are. (I’m sure the sarcasm won’t be lost on some of you). 🙂

But then he let the job that he least wants to go to, talk him into scheduling orientation tomorrow, even though he’d planned to wait till next Monday so he’d have time to finish up with the companies he DOES like.

I asked why he would do that… the answer floored me. He said that because the recruiter who told him he’d bounced too often made him feel like it was his fault… HIS fault! And it left him feeling desperate.

Seriously!? And then I went into my rant…

So what made you feel bad?…. She did.

No she didn’t. YOU did… Well no…

Well yes! You have 10 or more companies that want to hire you TODAY. You know that you didn’t bounce from company to company by choice. You have a clean driving record that the majority of drivers will never have. You have all your endorsements and you’re a non-smoker. Exactly what is it about this ONE woman said that made you suddenly feel like the only chance you’ll ever have at another driving job is the bottom of the barrel… and only if you jump right this minute!?

I already knew what the answer was to that because I’ve been there! It’s the fact that he isn’t clear on who he is and what his strengths are!

I used to have this talk during my coaching calls all the time. We’ve been taught our entire lives to be humble. We’ve been taught that knowing what your strengths are can be seen as conceit, because goodness knows you shouldn’t look at someone and tell them that you’re an excellent teacher or a really good artist!!

Get Clear About Who You Are!

Let me tell you something. If you aren’t clear about your strengths and who you are, you’re leaving yourself wide open for every Tom, Dick & Harry to knock you off your feet at any given time and send you into a tailspin doing things you wouldn’t otherwise do!

And if you’re already one of those people who beat yourself up anyway when people say bad things to you or you mess something up, you’re even MORE vulnerable to crap like this!

So it’s time to figure it out!!

Who are you? What are you good at? What are you even better than good at? What do you know how to teach others? What traits do you have that are unlike anyone else’s?

Do you care about people? Do you always go above and beyond for your customers? Do you give without ever expecting to get anything in return other than a good feeling? Do you add bonuses to your products that customers don’t expect just because you like to surprise them?

Figure. It. Out.

It took me some time and a few exercises that I took the time to walk thru, but I figured it out and I’ve never looked back. And as I’ve learned more, I’ve acquired some new strengths that I’ve been able to add to my internal resume.

The goal is that, no matter what I say to you, you know whether it’s true or not. Lemme give you some examples.

If I tell you you’re a liar but you go out of your way to be honest with people… is it true, or will you tell me I’m wrong?

If I tell you you’re a thief but you know you’ve never stolen anything… is it true, or will you tell me I’m wrong?

You’ll tell me I’m wrong! But that’s because those are the easy things that you don’t have to think about (and if you do, maybe it’s time to work on that). LOL

But what happens when someone tells you that you don’t know near enough about internet marketing to make a go of it. Why is it that so many people suddenly buy into that?! You may not know it all, but if you’ve been at it for a single day you already know more about it than those who don’t own a computer or have only used it to send emails! Many of you have gotten comments from people that tell you specifically that they like what you’re offering or how you’re writing or the fact that the 2 things you explained are 2 things they had no clue about. But you still listen to that one person who slammed you. WHY?!

Because you haven’t gotten clear about who you are… yet.

Get Started… Now! 🙂

Make a list of your strengths. Don’t know what they are? Think back to all those moments in your life when someone told you that you were really helpful at something or really good at something. I promise you they’re there. They may just be tough to remember for some of you because it’s always been so automatic to just dismiss your worth.

I’m eventually going to beat into my boyfriend where his strengths are… He did call and move his orientation for that job off to next week so he’s teachable! 😉  He comes from a background where there was even MORE emphasis about how you should be just like everyone else… how dare you think you’re better!

Well how dare you hide your talents from the world and be like everyone else! All that does is make the world a very boring place to be.

Your Turn:  Go ahead. Be brave. Step on over to the comment area and let me know at least ONE thing that you just KNOW you’re good at it or what ONE trait you have that you excel at. Even if it’s the same as someone else says in their comment, who cares? I can guarantee you that I’m not the ONLY one who’s good at teaching people… I’ve been reading a LOT of blogs lately and I KNOW there are some people out there who can teach! 😉

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