Why Getting Personal is Important

Do you have a business you’d like to grow? Do you have areas of your personal life that could use some work? Would you like to see your kids excel at school and in their personal lives? Are there technical things you don’t understand that you’d think would assist you in any of those areas? Are you tired of waiting till your kids get home or your grandkids visit so you can get them to explain to you how to do something on your computer that’s important to your business?

I do. I do. I do. There are. And I am. 🙂

I used to run a business that included face-to-face meetings, phone calls and stage presentations. I could get to know people really fast that way and they could also get to know about ME. One of the reasons I walked away from my offline business was because I felt like many of the leaders just weren’t willing to connect and support people the way they did when we started the company… and that’s just not me.

Now I have an online business and I’ve figured out that connecting with people is a lot different and comes with its own challenges. I also figured out that when I stopped working on my offline business, I also stopped working on me… and I’ve slipped into some old habits that I worked long and hard to get rid of… it’s time to get back to work on both.

My Thoughts on Why it’s Important

When my son was in 6th grade, there was a boy in his class who lived with his grandmother. He’d been taken away from his parents and his grandma didn’t have a lot of money so he often came to school wearing hand-me-down clothes and smelling like he didn’t get a chance to shower very often.

Many of the kids at school teased him, ignored him and in general, made his life miserable at school. He came up in conversation the other day when my son was talking to me about how poorly the ticket people and employees at Greyhound treat their customers. He works security there and says that many of the issues he runs up against start with the employees being rude and disrespectful the very people who use the service. He told me that he remembers what I had told him when he was in 6th grade:

You don’t have to like him or be his friend, but don’t ever do anything that’s gonna make his life any more miserable than it already is!

He also knows I raised him to never treat people, no matter their job, status or circumstances in life as if they’re “less than”. And that doesn’t mean to let people step on you or disrespect you and simply tolerate it. It means that if you don’t know, then don’t assume or treat people like they deserve to be disrespected.

He’s taken those things to heart all his life and continues to follow that advice on his job and anywhere else he goes. He’s bought extra food for homeless people he’s passed on the street. He says thank you to people who work jobs that I’ve seen many people simply ignore… hotel maids, cleaning staff, convenience store clerks and more.

You get the idea.

During the past few months, I’ve talked to my son about my business, my frustrations, my call with Craig Desorcy and about what my strengths are and how best to use them. Something that keeps coming up is that people have forgotten how to talk to people… many don’t even remember HOW. We’ve become a world of people who only know how to communicate using text messages, Facebook, Twitter and other forms of social media.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I think social media is a bad thing. I use it a lot! But there is an inherent danger to ONLY using them or hiding behind them so that you can keep people at a distance. I got really clear on that last year. My son has a few friends who asked him why he wasn’t at a party they had during the holidays. He told them he didn’t know anything about the parties. The response was, “Oh yeah. You’re not on Facebook anymore.”

He’d shut his account down for a few months and, to our amazement, his age group has obviously forgotten how to use the phone! 🙂  I smile, but I find it sad. For me personally, I believe it’s big part of the reason that we’re seeing such an increase in bullying, suicides, depression and more.

I’ve decided to become a part of changing that. It’s important that people learn to connect with people, even if we’re using online tools to do it.

Getting Personal with Yourself

If everything in your life is the way you want it, there’s no reason to work on yourself. But if you’re like most of us, there’s something (or many things) that you feel could be different or better. If that’s the case, it’s not going to happen until you’re ready to start the work.

So here’s some questions that may help you decide:

Do you know who you are or what you want? Do you remember having dreams when you were younger about what you wanted to be? Were there things you were going to accomplish in your life that you’ve forgotten about? Do you like everything about your life or how you react to things around you? Are people reacting to you the way you want them to?

Maybe it’s time to figure it out.

Prior to 1999, I knew nothing about personal development or goal-setting or working on myself. And even when I was introduced to the concept and books, a lot of it was over my head and things I just couldn’t see a use for. But it came at a time when I was ready to look at my life and realize that what I’d been doing hadn’t been working the way I thought it was, so maybe it was time to do something different.

Initially, there were a lot of new things that I didn’t understand, couldn’t relate to, or just didn’t like. I tossed that information to the side. As I grew, I went back to some of it. One of the biggest challenges I faced when I got started is what I’ve seen a lot of others run up against… it’s tough to look at yourself and say, “You know what? As much as I like myself, I think there’s some things that could definitely use some work!” Of course I can also tell you it’s worth doing. If you can be truly honest with yourself, you can start making changes and by doing so, you’ll start noticing some amazing changes in your life, business, and relationships.

Personal development is like going to the gym. If you work really hard to build muscles and tone your body and spend enough time doing it, your body WILL change and become what you want it to be. But if you stop going, your body will only stay the way it is for so long before it starts going back to what it was before you started working out. Working on yourself is the same thing. You can change or eliminate habits if you work at it long enough. But once you stop working at it, you will eventually go back to those old habits.

For me, I’ve been away from regularly working on me and I’ve slipped back into some old habits that I’d gotten rid of, so it’s time to get back to work!

Getting Personal with Family or Friends

If you don’t get personal with your family and friends, you’ll eventually find yourself alone. I’ve seen this happen, especially with my mom’s generation. They didn’t have computers when they grew up… what am I saying… neither did I. 🙂

The good news is that computers have made it a lot easier to keep in touch with family and friends, regardless of where they live. I hadn’t talked with a lot of my graduating class or even my family members for years, but Facebook has changed that. I’ve been able to get caught up with their lives. I know about their kids, grandkids, health issues and more. We share pictures of those special moments, cheer each other on, share their tears, and keep each other laughing in spite of what life throws our way!

But I know for some people, myself included, there are parts of our lives that we don’t want to share with the online community for whatever reason. For me, I have family I don’t speak to so I don’t necessarily want them to be able to read all the details of my life on Facebook. But, because they are friends with other family members, there’s always that chance. So I make sure my social settings are set to protect my information as best I can, and if there are things that I REALLY don’t want to risk certain people seeing, then I pick up the phone!

Without those connections, life would be a lot more lonely I think. So if you’re not already doing it, get out there and start connecting. If you’re afraid to post online, then schedule a daily or even weekly time to call someone you don’t get to talk to regularly. Or just go for a walk at the park and when someone walks past you, smile and say hi. It doesn’t take a lot to connect!

Getting Personal with Customers

Because I have an online business, I know a lot of business owners. And since you tend to attract people to you who are similar, I find that many of the business owners I know also enjoy connecting with their own customers. They know how important it is to their business to let their customers get to know them.

If you have a business, you either have customers, want customers, or both and because of that, you have a choice.

You can post your products, pay for ads, send out emails, and hope people come buy from you. There’s always a good chance that if you do enough of that, you’ll find a few customers, even if they only buy from you once.

Or, you can get personal.

You can let your customers into your life. That doesn’t mean that you have to bare your soul online like you’re looking for a lifetime mate. But let them know a little about who you are. Do you have kids? Do you like to camp or fish? What’s your favorite color? Just little things to let them know that they’re dealing with a real person who might have some similar interests.

In a world filled with so many businesses that have turned out to be scams, people are more leery and skeptical than ever. Because of that, they want to know who they’re working with or buying from and whether they can trust you. If you get personal and find a way to connect with people, they trust, they shop, they come back, and they let other people know about you.

To me, that’s a much better way to build a business!

Your turn: Yes, because I’m one of those “people people” I want to learn more about you. So feel free to respond to any or all of these. 🙂 Do you have any experience with personal development or self help type stuff? Do you enjoy it? Do you find parts of it useless or annoying or is it all good? 🙂 Are there things you’d like to change about how you interact with your friends and/or family? Are you a business owner? Do you work a job? Do you do both? Do you find ways to connect with your customers? Do they know anything personal about you?

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